Beware The Bread-Wielding Gunman

True story…

My mother was recently getting her hair done–it was just her and the salon owner in the building–and in came a man wielding a machine gun, telling them this was a robbery and he was going to kill them!  Needless to say, my mother was extremely frightened and was just sure her life was over.

Then, she got a good look at the gun…

The guy was holding a loaf of bread–a long baguette–like a machine gun!

The shop owner yelled at the guy to get out of her shop, and he immediately left!

Can you believe that? My mother was held up by a guy with a freakin’ loaf of bread!  Luckily, it was only a loaf of bread and not a real gun.

Needless to say, this story is somehow going to end up in one of my books, LOL.

 

 

Yard Sale Days

Image result for yard sale

Today we’re having a yard sale, and I’m wondering…should I put my business cards out too? Tell people I’m also a Tarot card reader? Thing 3 thought no…”It’s a yard sale, mom. No. Just…no.”

-le sigh-

What do you think?

Bring Your Own Hygiene Products

First of all, a bit of background about that title…

My older daughter, Thing 3, is turning 18 in July. She designed her own birthday invites and unfortunately added that title in the “What to bring” section of her invite. I about died laughing. I mean, really? What 17- or 18-year-old girl isn’t going to bring along her own hygiene products? Oh, gawd.

Thankfully her younger sister, Thing 4, saved the day by redesigning her invites. You see, Thing 4 is a whiz when it comes to all things Photoshop and design. By the way, Thing 4 is a photographer and artist, is the owner and CEO of her own photography company, and she’s only 15. She is one talented little stinker.

 

Words of Life By Thing 4

The other day me and Thing 4 were at the store because she was having a candy attack. She had a limited amount of money to spend and perused the candy aisle. After a bit, she became discouraged because, let’s face it, high-quality candy and chocolate is expensive. She threw her hands in the air in exasperation and said, “Why is candy so expensive? You’re basically paying to get cavities!”

How right you are, Thing 4. How right you are.

And The Birthday Shenanigans Begin…

Thing 2’s birthday is coming up on Wednesday.  She turns 17…not sure where the time went.  Yesterday her and I went out to the mall, and I ended up letting her get a tattoo.

I can hear it already. Oh my gawd! What parent lets their minor child get a tattoo?

Hold on to your underpants. It’s not permanent. Even though she’s begged me to let her get an actual tattoo, I’ve told her repeatedly she’s simply going to have to wait until she’s 18. This way, when she’s older and possibly decides she doesn’t like it, she only has herself to blame for it. Not that I have anything against tattoos. Heck, I’ve got one myself. But, seeing as how a tattoo is a lifelong commitment…well… she needs to be old enough to make that commitment on her own.

So, here she is, getting a henna tattoo.

Bri getting henna tattoo

And the finished product:

Bri's tattoo

Tuesday her boyfriend is taking her out to dinner.  I believe Wednesday she’ll be with her dad. Thursday I’ll take her out, and then Friday I’m taking her, Thing 3, and my niece to Chicago for the day. Then on Saturday, I believe her grandmother is taking her shopping.

Whew! Let’s hear it for week-long birthday celebrations!

Stop Squeaking!

image

Apparently this little mouse toy was madly squeaking and wouldn’t stop. Thing 3 determined it must be possessed, so she stuck it in a salt ring.   As soon as she put it in the ring of salt, the squeaking stopped. Coincidence? Or do I have a demon-possessed cat toy?

Uh…No. You Can’t Publish An Unfinished Book.

Thing 2 has been trying her hand at writing. She had been working on a book for about six months then decided, before finishing, she was going to restart it.

She restarted the book, then once she got to Chapter 4, got an idea for another book and started on that one.

Then, a few days ago, got an idea for yet another book and started on that one too.

She’s asked me about publishing to which I explained she needs to first finish a book. She laughed and said she has so many ideas in her head that once she gets another idea, she has to start on that one. I tried telling her to write her ideas down but then go back to the original book, but alas, she’s working on her current idea now.

She told me she’s a multitasker and can work on two at the same time…this coming from a girl with ADD who normally has a hard time listening to two instructions at the same time.

Yeah,  okay.

I guess we’ll see how that’s working out for her, won’t we?

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